How Do I Help My Child Be More Outgoing?

Having a child on the spectrum can be challenging at times. You may have asked yourself why is my child different from his/her peers? Why is socializing so difficult for my child? ASD is a condition that affects social interaction, communication, and behavior. They are having a difficult time socializing because it is hard for them, and that’s okay! 

Your child is lucky to grow up in this time period where the world is learning about differences and acceptance and how to help those in need. It starts at a young age in preschool, and continues through adulthood. Inclusion is expected and children are learning about their peers and their differences and how to socialize with everyone. We thought we would give you some tips as well! 

How can I help my child be more outgoing? This is a question many parents ask themselves as they see their children playing alone, spending nights in alone on weekends while other children are out socializing. Here are some things to consider:

1. Does your child want to be social? – this is the first thing you need to ask yourself, as well as your child. The autism spectrum is a spectrum because not all people with autism are the same. Some are naturally more verbal, while others may be non verbal. Some may enjoy being around others, while others get overwhelmed and uncomfortable being in large group settings. It is important to talk to your child and find out what they enjoy. Do they like being around a lot of people? Is it overstimulating to be in an environment with a lot of people? What do they enjoy? Do they enjoy sports? Video games? Movies? Arts? Music? Just like Amy child, a child with ASD has their own interests and hobbies and knowing these will help you find activities in which your child may want to participate. 

2. Work on social skills and give your child the opportunity to practice these whenever he/she can. Make a list of conversation starters, a list of topics to talk about, and a list of expectations when talking to someone (i.e. Make eye contact, face your body towards the person you are speaking to, make sure you give other people a turn to talk, make sure you let other people talk about subjects they enjoy, show interest by asking a follow up question, etc).  Have your child practice these with you, family members, and anyone else available as often as possible. 

3. Offer feedback. After a social situation, talk to your child about how it went. Review the expectations and ask your child how they think they did. Give them a compliment on something they did well. Offer them a suggestion on an area they could improve. Make sure you express empathy and let them know you know it is difficult and you are proud of them. Try sharing something that is difficult to you to make it relatable. 

4. Give them the right environment. If your child hates loud noises, going to a large, crowded place is not the best idea. Bring them to a quieter space, with fewer people. If your child enjoys sports, sign them up for a league or the gym. If they enjoy music, find a music class they can attend. Many places offer adaptive classes. There are also many day programs available for students on the spectrum. Do a google search for your area and make some calls. 

Being outgoing is not always in a persons nature, which is something you will have to come to terms with and accept. They might not be like everyone else, but that’s not a bad thing! It does not mean your child can’t be social – we just have to figure out how to help them best! Let your child know you are a team and work together. Once they feel supported and understood, they will feel more comfortable. 

Here at Uneepi, we are committed to helping your child become more outgoing. We offer various resources for adults who are 18 and older. We have dating support, blogs and podcasts. We are not just an Autism Dating Site, but we are also a resource. If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to us at contact@uneepi.com and we will be happy to help you!