how to keep up the conversation while keeping up your privacy…

it’s fun to converse, exchange stories and flirt online. it’s important to be safe and hold on to some of your privacy.  that’s right…everyone can stay private while socializing in public. online social  media sites, dating sites and uneepi are public domains. that means everyone can see your pictures, pins and posts. being  private means keeping some information private and some public. try to remember these tips to keep your privacy while conversing online…

know someone for 2-3 months before you let them into your personal world. your personal world  includes details about your job and salary, details about where you live and other information that only you know.    kindness, humor and laughter are good focus  points when conversing with a potential partner online.  social security  numbers, bank account balances and home addresses are never cool topics to discuss. keep things light, airy and simple…in other words keep topics casual. serious issues can be discussed within a committed relationship. know someone for 2 - 3 months before you let them into your personal world.elevators move up levels.  getting to know others happens in elevator levels too. to be safe in the real world  we remember to keep up a guard when we interact with strangers. new people online are also strangers. after a 3 - 5 positive interactions people become acquaintances and we can enjoy  small- talk.  acquaintances only know everyday information about us…this  includes

what we buy at starbucks, our favorites, and other safe topics. if relationships are going to ride  the elevator to the next level then we would hit the friendship floor.  on this floor we can begin to give personal compliments about appearance and pictures. we can ask others about their family and friends.

we can make comments about our last vacation or our last boyfriend or girlfriend. on the friendship floor there is a flirting door. if we decide that we are physically  attracted to the other person then we can open the flirting door. innocent flirting can begin. this may sound like:  “your name is so beautiful… just like you” or “the pictures of you surfing  are awesome…you are in some shape”.  if you spend a couple of weeks on the flirting and friendship floor then it may be time to speak about meeting in person.  elevators move up levels just like getting to know someone online.

exposure is like taking off our outdoor winter  gear layer by layer. exposing ourselves during conversations starts  with taking off 1 snowy boot, then the other snowy boot. we may sit down for a few days  and stay in that conversational position for a while.  then we move onto one mitten and then

the other. let’s reflect for a day or two…my  online interest can now see my two socks  and my two hands. that’s ok because i am exposing myself but  still being private. now we may decide to take off our winter  hats  or earmuffs. that’s a good idea because it reminds us to listen to the other person’s input during the conversations and to make appropriate comments. next is our

scarf.  hmm…we are getting close to our chest and that’s where our heart and feelings are kept safe.  we feel comfortable for a while here.  we’re in our socks and still have  on a big, cozy coat.   it’s smart to keep ourselves safe. the next set of conversations we have  may be more personal but  still not revealing all of

our privacy.  after all, we still have  clothes on.  we are just taking off our outerwear or outer shell.  when we feel ready, and the other person reveals that they feel comfortable with us, we can remove our jacket.   remember we

are still dressed but  without so many layers.  exposing ourselves during conversations is like taking off our outdoor winter  gear layer by layer.

personal space is an invisible  ring around our whole beings. this includes our bodies, our hearts, our feelings and our information. when we interact and socialize with others in person we remember personal space. this rule applies to online interactions too. keeping personal space means other people don’t get too close  to us too fast, and it means we keep our space

private with people that we don’t  want to share too much information with too soon. personal space helps keep privacy in.  personal space helps keep words and actions that are too fast or too soon or too much or too close  away until everyone is ready to get  more personal or more intimate. personal space is an invisible  ring around our whole beings…online and offline.

remember keep when conversing online. keep the conversation going while

keeping private and safe.  have fun!